I'm not going to stop blogging. I may not blog as much, but I'm not going to stop. If nothing else, I'd like to prove that there's light at the end of the tunnel, and even more than that, life on the other side.
This post is one I've been thinking about for awhile. When I look back on my life, there are things that make me wonder, "how did I not know?" I've consistently had this thing for a strong, confident woman. Something about that pulls me in. I didn't always think about it in terms of a crush, or an attraction, but as I look back I can definitely see there was some sort of attraction there. I guess before I came out, I thought of it as a fascination. For example...
1st crush:
Nancy Travis as Sylvia Bennington in 3 Men and a Little Lady (1990)
I thought she was beautiful. At the time, I was seven years old. But I found this character fascinating.
She was strong, she was confident, but there was also something absolutely vulnerable about her. And let's be honest, an English accent is just sexy, even if it's just part of the character and not real.
And I completely forgot about her until 3 Men and a Little Lady was on the movie channel about a month ago. We used to watch this movie all the time. I love it!
I remember being over at a friends house and we were playing some sort of made up game. I wanted my name to be Sylvia, after her.
2nd crush:
Jane Seymour as Dr. Michaela Quinn in Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman (1993-1998)
The first time I watched Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman, I think it was New Year's Eve, probably in 1993. I was ten. I immediately fell in love with this show. I liked the ruggedness of the setting, I liked that story, and I especially liked the leading lady.
Let's not lie about it, Jane Seymour is beautiful. Have you seen photos of her recently? I swear, this woman doesn't age. She is just as beautiful as she was then. And even more intriguing is that her eyes are different colors.
I think I bought one of those Women's Housekeeping or whatever magazines, just because she was on the cover.
3rd crush:
Lucy Lawless as Xena in Xena Warrior Princess (1995-2001)
What was that I mentioned, about a strong woman? If there ever was one, to me it is Xena.
Also helping was that I was really into Greek Mythology at the time, so the show was a great fix for that.
She wears leather, she's a dark-haired beauty, she can take on any warlord sort that comes at her.
Xena was broadcast on Sundays, after Hercules. When it was on during church, you better believe I recorded it on good old VHS so I didn't miss an episode. Gabrielle was a nice addition too, and only later did I discover all the lesbian speculation surrounding the two of them. Nice twist.
4th crush:
Kate Mulgrew as Captain Kathryn Janeway in Star Trek: Voyager (1995-2001)
I watched Star Trek: The Next Generation as a kid. I was captivated by space, wanting to be an astronaut and still being the biggest Star Wars fan you'll probably ever meet. So when I read in the TV Guide about a new Star Trek series that had a woman as captain, I was all in.
Captain Janeway kind of had the same things going for her that Sylvia Bennington did. Strong, no-nonsense, take charge. And yet, when she let her guard down in a moment of vulnerability, she was never more attractive.
This was also one of those shows I would record on VHS. Loved it.
5th crush:
Maureen McGovern, as herself, singer (probably 2002ish)
This one is actually a real person, and not a fictional character.
We've listened to Maureen McGovern's music since I was just a little kid. My dad is a musician and when she comes to town, he often gets called to play with her. I think she came to the Salt Lake City Jazz Festival one year and I wanted to meet her so badly!
Wish granted.
She's got an amazing voice and seems like an even more amazing person. I went through a little phase with her. Now I still enjoy her music, but the crush has ebbed.
6th crush:
Mariska Hargitay as herself, and as Olivia Benson on Law and Order: SVU (1999-present)
If I could type out what a whistle sounds like, I would type it right here.
Of course I love her character on SVU. What a great character! Very approachable, wants to help people, and absolutely gorgeous to boot.
Off the set, she seems pretty much the same way, but I think she's more humorous than Olivia Benson. Mariska has done great things for survivors of sexual abuse. She genuinely seems like a wonderful person. She's very classy, which is something I find very attractive.
If ever I met her in person, I would probably melt.
6th crush:
Rihanna as herself, singer (2007)
I credit Rihanna as the crush that really pushed me into the awareness that I was, in fact, gay. If you've ever seen a Rihanna music video, I think you know what I mean.
I had just come out to myself and was all sorts of freaked out about it. Rihanna was proof that I wasn't making it up.
Wow. That's all I've got for you on this. Just wow.
Her music is good too, which is a bonus. She can sing to me any time she wants to.
7th crush:
Kate Beckinsale as herself and pretty much any character she plays (especially in Underworld and Van Helsing)
So now that I'm aware I'm gay, I have to have that staple celebrity crush, right? Look no further.
I kind of have a thing for that dark-haired beauty type. When it comes to that, Kate is right at the top of that list. As mentioned in the heading, I love her in Underworld. I love her even more in Van Helsing.
In a nutshell, she's my Mary Poppins...practically perfect in every way.
8th crush:
Abby Wambach as herself, undeniable soccer queen of my universe
Abby gets center stage because she's my current crush. I don't think I can even explain how much I love this woman. I've only recently been watching the US Women's National Team (USWNT), since the 2011 Women's World Cup. I rediscovered soccer in 2010 and since then, the USWNT has been a big part of my fandom life. I saw them when they played their Olympic send off match against Canada in Utah. I don't know what it is about Abby, but I freaking love her. From her Twitter account and from rumor, which I'm shamelessly continuing, she even plays for my team, which leads me to feel an even greater connection to her. What a woman. Athletic, smart, funny, super cute. My girlfriend teases me that she's been replaced, and Abby is my girlfriend. A girl can dream.
So there you have it. Embrace who you are. These women have helped me do just that.
(Sorry for the gaps, but with the pictures it was kind of hard to format the way I wanted.)
