15 April 2011

Seeing Through The Snow

(Since it's April, you may be wondering why I'm writing about snow.  If that's the case, you are clearly not from Utah, nor have you ever lived here...but that's okay.  I still like you.)

We had some weather recently.  It snowed for about three days and didn't stop.  But just because it's snowing doesn't mean that life stops.  So I was driving home from work one evening, through snowflakes that make you think of bread.  At night, when your headlights are on, snowflakes like this can make it rough to see.  Fortunately, it didn't stick to the roads.  But in weather like this, you have to know a couple tricks to make it home safely.

You can't look at the snow.  It's difficult sometimes.  After all, it's coming directly at you, all lit up by your headlights, hitting your windshield.  But if you look at it, you get distracted.  You have to see through it.

I was thinking about this during the snowstorm because I've been caught up by distractions lately.  It happens sometimes.  There's quite a lot in this world that is more than willing to kick you off the path you're on.

So I'm gay (I know, it's news, and you're all surprised).  And most times, I'm really okay with it.  But we all know that it's not an easy thing to be gay in Utah.  And there are sometimes when that gets to me.  I love my girlfriend so much.  And love is not distracting.  But the looks we get when we go out, the awkwardness that sometimes creeps into a servers voice when they ask if we're on one check, the disapproval that is so prevalent...that can definitely be distracting. 

When I think about my feelings, I know they are real.  There's nothing wrong with the relationship I have with my girlfriend.  We care about each other, we take care of each other, we're best friends.  We're lucky.  So I don't know why I get caught up in watching the snow.

So we're gay.  So what?  We know where we're going, and no amount of snow will stop us from getting there.  We need to look through the flakes, see beyond the snow, and know that we have each other so everything will be okay.  There are still streetlights to guide the way.

The good thing is that you only have to get through the storm.  As anyone in Utah will tell you, if you don't like the weather...just wait fifteen minutes.



There were so many reasons for me to move out of UT. But deep down I believe getting away from the mindset was the biggest. I love Vegas for that. If a guy and I go out its not awkward. Lol yesterday at the title company the lady who was doing all my docs made some comment about the previous owners being lucky to be married. I looked at the docs and realized there were two men on the title. I wish you the best. I believe as there is more education people will slowly change their mind about us.