04 March 2012

Engagements and Marriages

It seems like there are a lot of people who are engaged right now.  I see a lot of them on Facebook, and most of them are Moho guys, but I think there's a straight couple here and there.

Engagements are something I love to see.  I'm so happy for everyone who is finding this happiness!  I think it's a very exciting time and I'm glad that the opportunity for marriage is now reaching people I know.  To have two people recognized for the deeply committed type of love that each must bring to a marriage is a truly amazing experience.

Those of you who have followed this blog for awhile know that I was married once.  I was married in the Salt Lake Temple.  When I got divorced about two years later, I very firmly committed to never getting married again.  Having not had the best marriage experience, this thought was one that brought me so much peace.  I knew that I could be okay if I was never married to a man again.  It wasn't something I remotely wanted.

As more states are embracing marriage equality, I am finding now that I actually do think about getting married again.  My girlfriend and I have been together for two and a half years.  That's practically a lifetime in LDS terms.  If we were a conventional LDS couple, we would have already been married for two years.  We talk in terms of "forever" when we consider our relationship, but we're not in a hurry.  We've even talked about "when we get married..." but it is always a distant future sort of thing.

As I think about the possibility of getting married again, I actually find that I would like to get married again.  I want to.  And I think it's because it would be a marriage I could actually bring something to.  It's a marriage I want to be a part of, not one that I want to run and hide from.  I love my girlfriend so much and I never want to be without her.  I'm pretty sure that she feels the same way about me.  We have genuine care and concern for the others well-being and state of happiness.  And I know that I could be married to her for the rest of my life.

It doesn't feel like a foreign idea, wanting to get married again, because in a lot of ways, I think it would be like getting married for the first time.

And if that's the case, it would be my first and only, which is how I've always wanted my marriage to be.


Duck said...

I feel exactly like you. I, too, was married, but even more briefly than you. I loved you statement about getting married this time would feel like getting married for the first time. Brilliant. I would feel the same way, too.