17 December 2009

Not My Trial

I don't believe my life has been easy. I've been through a lot of stuff, and a lot of really difficult stuff for being 26 years old. I'm the first one to tell you that I don't think it ever will be easy for me. But maybe that's because somehow, I am able to handle tough stuff. Somehow, I make it through, even when I don't believe I ever will.

I look at my sister (Liz) and she seems to have the picture perfect life. Things come easy for her. She's more of the "silver platter" kind of girl. It doesn't seem to me that she's had to work hard for the things she gets. Of course, that's from where I sit. She might tell you differently.

I really think sometimes that being gay is not my trial. I've got plenty of other things to test me. And I'm at the point now where it's not 100% difficult to be gay. I don't struggle with it like I used to.

Maybe it's a trial for my family. Maybe me being gay is their test. Maybe it's to help them learn how to have a greater kind of love, to see me like my Savior sees me, with unconditional love.

If it's a test for them, I hope they will learn how to pass.


Jenz said...

That's a good way to look at it. You know, in reality, that's all we can do. Teach others by our example. One person at a time.