I suppose the end of a year and the end of a decade can naturally persuade a person to look over the time that has passed. I don't know that 2009 was a big year for me, but I think I did some pretty big things. I've thought about some highlights I could share. Here's my top ten.
1) I came out.
These three words seem so small in comparison to the kind of thing "coming out" can be. It's definitely a process. Sometimes it's easier than others. And it something that continues to be a process. It's not like you can come out to everyone at the same time. There are people that I haven't met yet. One day I might share with them that I am gay. But as I continue to become more comfortable with myself and my choices and my life, I think it will get easier to come out and not have it be such an ordeal. In 2009, it was a rough. But I got through it.
2) I did not cut myself once.
Cutting has been a massively huge problem for me since I was 14. I officially quit in 2008. It will be two years "sober" in July. So for the entire calendar year, for the first time in eleven years, I was self-injury free. You have no idea how much that amazes me, or how incredible it feels.
3) I started a serious relationship with a girl.
It wasn't like I was looking for one...it just kind of happened. And I'm so glad that it did. We've been together for five months next week and we both feel like there are many more good months waiting for us. This has been one of the best things that has ever happened to me and it's really nice to be happy with someone.
4) My youngest sister and her husband met my girlfriend.
I suppose this could technically be a sub-category of coming out and starting a relationship, but to me it stands on its own. The rest of my family has been very adamant about wanting nothing to do with my girlfriend and our relationship. When my sister and her husband wanted to meet her and invited us into their home, it really meant a lot to me.
5) I went to some amazing concerts.
I love music almost more than anything, so I love concerts! Incubus is my most favorite band and I love it when they come to town. Their music and lyrics are just poetry to me. I saw Tool and their show was amazing. They do a lot of effects with lighting and lasers and smoke and it was really awesome. I also saw the Utah Symphony, the Trans-Siberian Orchestra, Spyro-Gyra, and Tower of Power.
6) I saw the USAF Thunderbirds twice.
Once in June when they came to Hill AFB in Layton and once in November when I went to Nellis AFB in Las Vegas. They always put on a good show and I love every second of it. Nellis was my girlfriend's first airshow and I'm glad that she liked it. We plan on going to Nellis every year now.
7) I've been at my job for over five years.
Now it's actually closer to six. It doesn't seem like it's been that long, but I guess there's something to be said for loyalty. Plus I get an extra week of vacation now.
8) I went back to school.
More difficult than I hoped but not as difficult as I anticipated. I took Intermediate Algebra (Math 1010) and actually pulled an A. I think the last time I got an A in math was my first semester of seventh grade. I'm signed up for College Algebra (Math 1050) and school starts for me on Tuesday. And textbooks are still wickedly expensive.
9) I lost a good friend.
I moved out of the apartment I had with my roommate of four years. We had been friends since high school. Unfortunately, our friendship was one of the casualties of my coming out. It has really been the only casualty and I don't really know why. It's been difficult and I miss her, but maybe we'll be able to be friends again someday.
10) My Great-Grandma died.
She was 99 and ready to go. Didn't make it a whole lot easier. But I learned so much from her and I am so glad that I was able to have a relationship with her. It's something I will cherish for the rest of my life.
As I look forward to 2010 and what possibilities a new year can bring, I hope that I can take what I learned from 2009 and continue moving forward. It wasn't all good, it wasn't all bad, and all in all, it's time that I'm grateful was mine. 2010, bring it on.