I feel like I'm stuck.
In the actual conversations I've had with my family regarding me being gay, I feel like my parents and my middle sister made it clear that they want nothing to do with the relationship I have with my girlfriend. We don't talk about it, they don't even know her name. But she's the most important person in my life. We spend a lot of time together and we're really happy together.
Consequently, I'm not home very much.
More and more lately, my parents love to bring that up. They tell me that they think I'm avoiding them and being distant. My mom likes to say that she feels like I don't love them anymore because I'm never there. That just makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.
Of course, they're right. I am pulling away from them. Why wouldn't I? They ask how my day is or what I've been up to, but they don't want to know the answer. They don't want to hear about how nice my girlfriend is to me, what she said that really made me laugh, the situation with her niece that causes both of us to worry, or how I really wanted the Vikings to go to the Super Bowl because that's her team and I didn't want to see her sad face.
And since I don't know what to say to them, I don't say anything at all. I feel like I can't share this part of my life with them because they don't want to be a part of it. And you have no idea how much that hurts.
The last time my dad cornered me, I thought that maybe I would write them a letter or something, because my voice loves to fail me in those situations and I'm not confident enough in myself to say what I really want to say. But I don't know if it will do any good.
Perhaps once I have it finished, I'll post it and ask for your feedback.
Those of you that have experience with writing letters to the family, was it helpful?