This is a post that I would like to get feedback on. If you have any thoughts at all, please don't hesitate to share them with me, because I'm still trying to make sense of it all and any input would be appreciated.
For the sake of this post, I'm going to label some people to try and cut down on some potential confusion. I'm going to call my middle sister Liz and her husband Jeff.
During the Thanksgiving discussion, Liz and Jeff did a lot of the talking. It pretty much opened with Liz asking me how I came to the conclusion that I was gay. So I told her about how I felt different from people around me, I felt like there was something wrong with me but I couldn't put my finger on it, and it just unsettled me for a long time. I reminded her that I didn't date much because I didn't have a desire to. Guys were always my pals, not my interest. I told her about how I thought I might be gay when I was nineteen but it scared me so much that I threw it away and buried it. I tried to be the "right" person and follow the path that had been laid out for me. I told them about how being married was no picnic, more like one big traumatic experience. And that now I was just to a point where I couldn't keep hiding anymore.
Liz said that she and Jeff had been spending a lot of time reading talks from General Authorities, reading press releases, searching the scriptures, and trying to make sense of it through their faith. She asked me if I thought I was born this way. Both of them are very adament that God would not allow us to be born this way. Jeff cited the first chapter of James, where it says this:
"13: Let no man say when he is tempted, I am tempted of God: for God cannot be tempted with evil, neither tempteth he any man:
14: But every man is tempted, when he is drawn away of his own lust, and enticed.
15: Then when lust hath conceived, it bringeth forth sin: and sin, when it is finished, bringeth forth death.
16: Do not err, my beloved brethren."
Jeff then went on to say that God doesn't ever give us temptations, but we open ourselves up to them. So maybe when I started thinking that I felt different, that was the first step, and then it just kept growing and building on itself until pretty soon, here I was thinking that I was gay.
He said that the more I continue on this path, the more I reject the family, the closer I will get to the day when I have to choose between where I've ended up and my family.
Liz said that she wasn't planning on not letting me see my niece and my nephew, which is one thing that I've been very worried about. Jeff said that it wouldn't be a problem as long as I didn't start supporting "the gays" and joining campaigns for gay rights or supporting organizations that do. He said that if his kids could one day get on my Facebook page and be exposed to that, then he would have to talk to me about it, because it would be a problem.
Both of them said that they don't want to ever meet the person I'm seeing, and they don't want her around at all.
So what do you think? I'm still trying to make sense of it, and I have my own opinions and responses, but I'd like to hear from you first before I get into my own feelings on the subject.