I have read from a few different sources that the song "Brave" by Sara Bareilles could be considered an anthem for the LGBT community. I like Sara Bareilles. So I finally listened to the song. And I really like it.
I've been thinking about Grant a lot lately. I've been kicking myself a little bit, because once upon a time, he wrote this really awesome blog post. I liked it so much that I printed it, because I wanted to take his ideas and make them fit into my own life. And now I can't find it. I tried to retrace the blog steps but it was on a blog that doesn't exist anymore. And it's not like I can ask him about it.
The post was called "No Apologies, No Regrets: A Gay Manifesto." From what I remember, he talked about how he had noticed that a lot of Moho's see their "same-gender attraction" (or BEING GAY, for people who don't think it's a syndrome or a disease) as a negative thing. He wasn't surprised, given the way we are raised. But his point was that it didn't have to be. He wrote a manifesto, or a declaration, where he stated his intentions. I wish I could remember what some of them were. And I wish I could find that printout!
I was going to write my own manifesto. But I didn't. And I still haven't.
I don't think suicide is something that is going to go away for us any time soon. Yes, things might be getting easier as far as what the American population thinks, what the upcoming generation thinks, and the number of places where same-sex marriage is legal. But, as we are so often reminded, there is still a long way to go. And sometimes that long way is just too far.
We're blessed to be a tight-knit community. We call each other FAMILY for a reason. And unfortunately, due to outside circumstances that are so often out of our control, we end up knowing the sorrow that comes when someone in our family takes their own life.
I will never blame someone for making that decision. I ABSOLUTELY WISH THEY WOULDN'T. But I always find myself in a place of sad compassion. I always find myself wishing that they could have stayed around a little bit longer. Just stay with us. Just be brave for just a little bit longer. I know it's not easy and I know that it's painful and I know that it can absolutely suck. I know that you get tired of hearing people say that it gets better. And I know that you want it to change and be better right now. I wish I could snap my fingers and send all my love to anyone who was feeling that way, and make it all better. I would. I so would, in a heartbeat.
Life isn't easy. I've been through some unimaginable heartaches. And I'm glad that I'm still here.
If you're thinking about suicide, know that you aren't alone. No matter how much it feels like you're alone and no one would miss you if you were gone, the ripples that will extend from a decision like that will reach farther than you could imagine. You're important. You are so important to this world. Please reach out before you give in. Because you're amazing.
Show me how big your brave is.