I am Gleek. I have been since the beginning. I watched the pilot episode when it was a teaser, months before the show actually premiered.
I realize that not everyone is a fan of Glee. But I love this show. So I was very shocked and saddened to hear that Cory Monteith, one of the leading men from the show, had died last week. I was even more surprised to hear that his cause of death was heroin and alcohol.
Stuff like this has the potential to really freak me out. Cory was a year older than I am. That freaks me out. And I suppose that celebrities have this certain invincibility about them. I tend to think that when someone has the appearance of a good life, everything to live for, that they will indeed live. But addiction is no joke and it's so difficult to live with. I knew that he had struggled, and it makes me sad to think that it still had such a hold on him. It seemed like he was doing better. The compassionate part of me feels so bad that people get locked into these things and they can't break free. It breaks my heart. I suppose that I just want better things for them.
And then I start wondering if I really have the right to get upset, and to cry, and to be freaked out. I never met the man. I didn't know him. I realize that the real Cory Monteith is not Finn Hudson. He has a family and a life that is entirely separate from everything Glee. But as I was watching the season 3 finale yesterday, and not doing a good job at holding back tears, it came to me that something that I love is gone. And for that reason, it's okay to mourn and not feel bad about it.
I hope that he has peace, and that his family and friends will be comforted in this time of loss. Thank you Cory, for what you gave to so many Gleeks, myself included. It won't be the same without you.