30 March 2009

"Too Much Gay"

At work yesterday, someone wrote "too much gay" on the communication board, referring either to the lack of business or the list of steaks we were running out of. I couldn't tell which. Unfortunately, this kind of "joke insult" is much too common at work. I hear it all the time. People change the lyrics in songs, so Ozzy Osbourne's "No More Tears" becomes "No More Queers" or something like that. It usually bothers me. I feel hurt and anxious and angry, even though I know it's not a personal attack. The board didn't say "Drakames is too much gay." It's not fair to hold them accountable for information that they don't know.

Yesterday, I was very tired, and much more vulnerable to the emotions that come up for me when someone does or says something like that. These are people I spend so much time with, people that I care about, and people I consider friends. It puts me in an interesting dilemma.

Do I say something? Do I run right up and erase the statement off the board? Will that give away my secret? I am so not ready to be out at work. I know that other people have their opinons, and their opinions are not my opinions. But I wonder if anything would change if they knew.

Is "too much gay" just something I have to get used to? Can I ever get used to it?


alex dumas said...

I think you can stand up for tolerance without giving yourself away.

Jenz said...

I always correct people if they say "that's so gay".