At work yesterday, someone wrote "too much gay" on the communication board, referring either to the lack of business or the list of steaks we were running out of. I couldn't tell which. Unfortunately, this kind of "joke insult" is much too common at work. I hear it all the time. People change the lyrics in songs, so Ozzy Osbourne's "No More Tears" becomes "No More Queers" or something like that. It usually bothers me. I feel hurt and anxious and angry, even though I know it's not a personal attack. The board didn't say "Drakames is too much gay." It's not fair to hold them accountable for information that they don't know.
Yesterday, I was very tired, and much more vulnerable to the emotions that come up for me when someone does or says something like that. These are people I spend so much time with, people that I care about, and people I consider friends. It puts me in an interesting dilemma.
Do I say something? Do I run right up and erase the statement off the board? Will that give away my secret? I am so not ready to be out at work. I know that other people have their opinons, and their opinions are not my opinions. But I wonder if anything would change if they knew.
Is "too much gay" just something I have to get used to? Can I ever get used to it?