11 February 2010

Letter to Mom and Dad, First Draft

Dear Mom and Dad,

I know that letters aren't always the best way to communicate, and for that I apologize.  But I don't apologize for what I need to say because it's really important to me, and I would say it in person if I could.

Both of you have said to me repeatedly that you feel like I'm avoiding you, pulling away, becoming distant, or something along those lines.  I would say that you are correct.  Mostly this is because I don't always feel comfortable at home.  I'm not sure how to respond to the questions you usually ask, such as how my day has been, what I've been up to, things like that.  My understanding is that you don't want to know that real answer, and therefore I have a large part of my life that I don't share with you, and don't feel like I can share with you.

Regardless of if you're ashamed or angry and just don't want to acknowledge it, the reality of the situation is that I am gay and I have a girlfriend.  I'm not in a relationship with her because I'm rebelling or trying to make you upset or because my marriage failed and I'm trying something new.  We've been dating for six months and we're really happy.  She's important to me and we're planning on being important to each other for a long time.

That doesn't mean she has to be important to you.  You don't have to ask about her or invite her over.  But you do need to know that my life includes her and I can't go on omitting so many details when you ask about where I go or who I'm with.

I'm not angry and I'm not trying to pick a fight.  If anything, I'm sad.  It's been very difficult for me to not tell you about my life right now, because I'm happy and stable and things are going so well, and I want so much to share that with you.  You're my parents and I want you to be a part of what goes on in my life.  But I respect both of you and realize that you have to deal with this in your own way, in your own time.  However, I have accepted myself as I am, and I have to start being more honest, because I don't want to be ashamed of who I am. 

If this is a problem, I can find somewhere else to go.  I would hope that we can find a way to not be awkward around each other, find some common ground, and have things work out as best they can.

I love you both,


Any thoughts?


alex dumas said...

I say give it to them.

El Genio said...

I like it. The only you thing you may (or may not) want to consider, is trying to being to a bit more specific with what you are expecting.

Jenz said...

go for it. But I think a conversation should follow. A conversation on your terms. Good luck Amy

Alan said...

I agree with El Genio. It's a great letter.