28 June 2010

We're Everywhere

I just got back from family vacation.  The rest of the family is still out in California.  I had to work and I have school, so I had to come back early.

Initially I was not excited to go.  There was all sorts of stress leading up to leaving on this vacation and it was difficult to get fired up about it.  This was vacation with my mom's family, so her two brothers and their families and my grandma were all there too.  Out of the twenty people though, ten were from my immediate family.

We went to Disneyland / California Adventure.  I liked that we could hop back and forth from park to park, so I got to ride pretty much everything I wanted to.  I had fun with my youngest sister and her husband and my dad and I have been roller coaster buddies for years.  The nieces and nephew were of course adorable and they loved every second of seeing characters and riding kiddie rides. 

I really missed my girlfriend though.  It's so difficult for me to be with my family and have to censor everything I say so that they aren't uncomfortable.  I'm glad that my brother in law gives me space to talk about her and the things that really go on in my life.  He's such an incredible person and I'm glad he's married to my sister.

On Saturday, my dad and I went to the park earlier than everyone else.  I had a lingering feeling of sadness, missing my girl and wishing she was there to share the vacation with me. 

On this particular morning though, I happen to see several lesbian couples, one with kids, three without.  And even though I didn't talk to them, didn't really go near them, and only made eye contact with one girl, it was like their presence comforted me in some way.  I wasn't alone.  Something about seeing them just made me feel better and I knew it would be okay.

Later that night, I snuck away from my parents to buy a Mickey Mouse pin, shaped like Mickey's head but striped with the colors of the rainbow.  I thought it was funny and would make a good gift for my girl (and we had a good laugh about it).  I bought a Disney Star Wars pin for myself too.  The girl that was at the register commented that she thought it was a cool combination, being Rainbow and Imperial.  She also told me about a rainbow lanyard that Disney makes for pin collecting, because she wore it to Pride.  We had a small conversation, but an enjoyable one.  Again, it made me feel better.

I'm glad that we're everywhere and I'm grateful that my other family was able to be there for me when I needed them, even if they'll never know it.