29 January 2011


I am gay. There are a lot of terms out there that could be used to describe me. We all use words that we're comfortable with, and that's completely fine. But for me in my gay life, I really don't use much more terminology than the actual word "gay."

For instance, I don't like the terms same-sex attraction (SSA) or same-gender attraction (SGA), which are the terms frequently used in the LDS church. This is because it is often phrased as "suffering from same-gender attraction" or something like that. That just makes it sound like such a terrible thing, like a cancer or a mental disease. I definitely do not believe that being gay is the equivalent of having a disease.

Another term that I don't really enjoy is "lesbian." It's not going to offend me if you call me a lesbian, but I don't use the term much myself. I don't really know why. My only guess is it has something to do with those miserable junior high days.

Of course, there's all the offensive names, which I don't think I even need to mention.

And then there's "partner." I just don't like it. Not really sure why, I just don't. My girlfriend is my girlfriend. Maybe someday we'll get married, or "married" in the best way we can, and then she'll be my wife, or my spouse, and still my sweetheart. I can't explain why on this one, I just know that I don't like how "partner" sounds.

One term I do like, that my girlfriend and I have coined is "qweird" (which is queer + weird). But that's because we are. We're just dorks, and we have a lot of fun, so we love every second of it.

So there's my two cents for today. This is just me, so if you're good with SGA and your lesbian and your partner, cheers to you.

What do you think about gay terms?

(million dollar phone approved)


this blog author said...

I am good with "gay", NOT lesbian (I agree- sounds like some disease). And, "partner" sounds too transitory. I HATE SSA and SGA (as I always say, they sound like part of some Geometry formula).

I love "sweetheart" and "baby". And, "girlfriend". I love terms of endearment that REALLY mean something.

Hidden said...

I'm totally going to start saying "qweird" now. Loves it!

Julia said...

I just don't understand why we even need the term lesbian--I mean, just because I'm a woman attracted to women I need a different term than men attracted to men? I guess in my mind, it's the same thing, so using a separate (especially in the fact that it's like men and women--all men=all people, all women=all females. All gays=all people who are gay, all lesbians=all gay females. I just see it as androcentrism)

Also, lesbians sound kind of scary to me >.> I'm not sure why. I'm not a huge fan of the term lesbian, but I definitely don't mind being referred to as one and I'm sure there are times I've referred to myself as one just out of laziness.

Partner sounds like... I dunno, it just sounds dumb. I'm not a big fan of SSA/SGA for the simple reason that in my opinion the church encourages it in order to convince me that this isn't permanent and I shouldn't label myself with this horrible condition. Instead I should struggle with it in shame.

I am going to start using qweird in everyday conversation. It will be amazing.

Jenz said...

oh young ones....i'm proud to say i am a card carrying, GOLD STAR
L E S B I A N! it takes a while to get used to, but once you are comfortable with yourself -- you really don't care. you own it. i don't use the term often though -- people are just gay.

Jenz said...

BTW -- to me the word "lesbian" is HOT!! ...but i know where you all are coming from cause i used to feel differently