03 February 2011

Class of 2001

I had someone add me to a group on Facebook having to do with the ten year high school reunion that should be happening later this year.  Yikes.  I can't believe it's been ten years already.  Weird.  That makes me seem like I should be all adult-like, and I'm just not.

We haven't had any other reunion since graduation day.  I don't know if that's typical.  Both my parents had five year reunions.  But my ten year will be my first.

I am so undecided on whether or not I will be going.  My situation now is nothing like when I was in high school.  I hope that there are many other people who can say that, but in my case, it's a little more extreme.  I was a mess in high school.  Like, completely terrible.  I hated my life and I was miserable ALL THE TIME.  I didn't have a lot of friends.  I hung out with the goth kids during my senior year just because I wanted to be left alone by everyone else.  Come on now, that doesn't sound like a lot of fun.

Secondly, my high school...I don't even know how to describe it.  We had a 95% enrollment rate in seminary.  The town is small, but not rural, and you just didn't venture further than what was expected of you...which is pretty much what the Church would expect  from you.  So, now that I'm gay and have a girlfriend, I just don't know how that's going to go over. 

Not that I really care what they think of me, because I don't.  I'm glad that high school is over and done with.  I can count on one hand the number of people from DHS that I associate with now.  But I also don't need to put myself in a situation where I'm not going to be comfortable.  That's just not necessary, right?

But another part of me thinks it might be kind of fun to go with my girlfriend.  Kind of a "ha ha, thought you knew me" sort of thing.  And it might be nice to prove that I am not miserable anymore, even if it's only to myself.

I don't know.  I'm back and forth, back and forth.  There are pros and cons, and I don't think that one outweighs the other right now.

Does anyone have any thoughts or stories about class reunions, or advice that might help me better decide?


FindingMyWay said...

10 years, wow! You're just a baby. :)

I went to my 10 year because I had recently lost some weight and felt good about myself. It was crazy to me how many people were still in the high school mode. There was lots of drinking and falling down on the dance floor. You probably won't experience that as much in Utah, but I sure did. I swear most of the people seemed like they were stuck in 1990. It was fun to observe, and fun to visit with some long lost friends, but that was about it.

I didn't have the gay baggage that I do now, so I can't comment on that. I'd say go for it! Prove to yourself just how far you've come! Good luck.

Anonymous said...

Oh, for goodness sake, if you want to go for any reason, just go. You only get one shot at an event like this, and even if it's miserable it's only, what, a couple hours? On the other hand, if it's worthwhile, then you've just made the most of an opportunity that you only get once a decade, if that.

Hidden said...

I'm so class of 01 with you! And feeling many of these same things! So cool. So crazy. Go if you want, but not to prove anything to anyone. Love ya.

Nick said...

Hey Amy!

I actually graduated with you :-)

I'm feeling the same way. I was kind of excited about the reunion until this facebook page began. I don't remember any these people. They all seem like strangers. I don't really care what's going on in their life anymore. Their lives all seem so generic. I can't believe how many people write the same thing: "Now I'm married to the best person in the world with 2-3 kids and have a generic job...etc."

I agree with FindMyWay, it seems like so many of them are still living (or at least reliving) their high school days. That is why I'm on the fence about attending. Not because I too am gay. Not suffering from same-sex attraction, but gay (I also read your other post). I love finding out other people from high school are as well. It makes me feel more validated somehow...and not so alone.

I know Kristi Gibson already announced she's planning to attend with her girlfriend and nobody has taken her off the invite list yet. Lol! So go. You won't be alone. It might make for a wonderful evening...it might make more a horrendously awkward evening...but either way, it only comes around once every ten years. One evening out of ten years...I think I can spare that.

El Genio said...

I skipped my 10 year reunion last year. I had work, and none of the people I really wanted to see were going any way. While there are a few individuals I would love to catch up with and talk about life and its crazy turns, I really have no desire to interact with the popular stereotypical Mormon crowd.

jennzech said...

Amy- I hope you don't mind that I've been following your blog since I stumbled upon it a few months ago. While I don't claim do understand what you've gone through, I appreciate reading your blog. It helps me to attempt to understand what you're going through.

I just wanted to say that I'm right there with you and Nick. I am not really excited about this ten year reunion. Have you read some of the things people have posted to the group? Bleh. It's as if everyone thinks they have something to prove to their old classmates (I especially love all the comments about how skinny they are, and if/when they lost their virginity). I honestly don't think people really care that much. And if they do care, it's about time they got over it.

I would rather just get together with people who were actually my friends in high school. I don't want to deal with the fake smiles and hugs as if all 700 or so of us were friends.

High school feels like it was so long ago. I know everyone keeps saying they can't believe it's been 10 years already. I can, and I'm grateful it has been. If people really think 28 is old, then they should be prepared to be old for the rest of their lives.

I'm using the excuse that I live a few thousand miles away and can't make it. But, if I happen to be in Utah during the reunion, I will probably go just so I can say I was a good sport about it and that I actually went.

I think a lot of us are in the same boat as you, gay or not. Also, I think high school was such a narcissistic time in most people's lives. I know I worried what other people thought of me, but I'm realizing now that I'm sure most people never gave me a second thought. I think you may be surprised at the amount of people that actually don't care whether you're gay or not because all they care about is proving how great they are to everyone else. And if people judge you for who you are today... well, just know that they need to grow up

Jenz said...

i didn't go to my ten year or my twenty year. just didn't care about these people or really care what they are you to. The ones i do care about i'm still in touch with. thankful i didn't go --- saw the pictures --- looked like a total drag and everyone was FAT