23 January 2011

Two Baby Boys

One was born on Friday.  One will be born on Tuesday.

The one born on Friday, we'll call him Trey, comes into the world with very young parents.  They are not married.  Trey is their first child.  I don't know his mother's family, but I know his father's.  They are good people, but they haven't had what most would consider to be a stable life.  They all struggle holding jobs.  They struggle maintaining their finances.  Trey is the latest in a line of posterity born as consequence instead of planning.

The one who will be born on Tuesday, we'll call him Fleet, comes into a world where he will not live.  He has a rare chromosomal condition which is not survivable outside the womb.  Will he take a breath?  Will he open his eyes?  Will he live long enough for his older sister and brother to see his face?  No one knows.  His parents are also young, but not as young.  They have been married for several years, have established their family, and have financial stability.  Fleet won't get the chance to be taught by them.  He will be their son forever, but he will stay with them as a memory.

In the scheme of things, relying on what I believe, both boys must be incredibly strong.  I have to believe that Fleet is needed elsewhere.  He only needs to be on this miserable planet for a fleeting moment to satisfy his mortal requirement.  What an amazing spirit he must have.  I have to believe that Trey is also such an amazing spirit, capable of the challenges he will face.  I don't know what kind of life he will have.

Part of me feels like it's an unfair situation.  I know that Trey's parents love him, I know they are happy to have him.  I know that Fleet's parents love him, and I know they want to keep him.  You have two sets of parents, one set who wants to be parents, and one set who ended up being parents.  And the ones that ended up being parents by accident are the ones who get to be parents to their boy.

I hope that God knows what He's doing.  I think he does.  I have to trust that He does.  But situations like this test my faith a little bit.  My prayers and thoughts go out to both families, but for very different reasons.  I feel bad for the personal judgments I have about Trey's family, because I do know them.  But I've seen their pattern.  It's hard to explain without going into a lot of detail, but my heart breaks for them.  I just wish someone could get their nonsense to make sense, for the sake of these kids that they keep bringing into the world.

I don't know if this post makes sense.  It's all jumbled in my head and my emotions.  You don't have to agree with me.  It's just been on my mind lately, so I thought I'd put it out there.

Two baby boys, two very different stories.  Good luck Trey.  Good luck Fleet.


Duck said...

Your post broke my heart. Hard situations, for both families.

I, too, have trouble comprehending people continuing to bring children in to the world whom they cannot care for. In fact, it makes me nuts. I want all children to have a fighting chance when coming into this life. And, as you wrote, it does NOT seem fair what is about to transpire.

You did a fabulous job of describing the emotions and conflicts you feel. Your post made a LOT of sense.

Love and respect, always.