03 August 2010

Such A Doormat

Sometimes I wish I wasn't a nice person.

Sometimes I want to be mean.  I want to say what I really think.  I want to tell someone "no" and not feel guilty and terrible about it.  I want to be able to stand up for myself and not feel like I don't have the right to do so.

Why is everyone else's happiness and well-being more important than mine?  Why should I work so hard to keep everyone else comfortable at my own expense?

Maybe I'm not a nice person...maybe I'm just a weak person.

Either way, right now, I just wish I wasn't that person.

3 comments:

Jeremy said...

I'm sorry that you feel you are weak. I know that I do not know you all that well but I think you are an amazing person! *hugs*

A.J. said...

You aren't weak. saying no is hard. It is a difficult skill to master. Part of the LDS culture is not to say no and to be a people pleaser. Don't think of it as failing think of it as something that will get better with practice. -A.J.

Jenz said...

once you feel more and more comfortable with yourself...this will all fall into place.