03 November 2010

Could This Be The End?

I haven't been blogging much lately because I feel like there's been some drama.  I am a person who is not about conflict and drama at all, and I hate that there has been drama.  I understand it, I understand my part in it, I accept that, but I don't have to like it. 

This is mostly because it has come to my attention that I have an audience that I perhaps did not plan on.  I've been in a place of indecision and hesitation because of this.  I am a person who is still very much a work in progress, I still have a lot of insecurities (even though I'm working on it), and news of these potential readers has put me into a sort of limbo.  I've been weighing choices and consequences and trying to determine what I should do with this blog. 

I started this blog as an outlet for my feelings, my thoughts, and my reactions to the world I live in.  That may not be the same world that you live in.  The things I write are purely my perception, and not much else.  I don't think that this blog reaches a particularly large audience, but maybe I'm wrong on that. 

I have really enjoyed having this blog.  I really enjoy being a part of a blogging community and reading the blogs of other people who share similar circumstances.  That has been such a blessing for me.

So I don't know what to do yet.  I'm still in the middle of the arguments.  I really don't want to stop blogging.  But I need to figure out what to do and where to go from here. 

I hope it isn't the end.

5 comments:

Neal said...

I don't know everything about your situation, but I think we're all stronger when we allow ourselves to share even a small part of what makes us "us" with others. I hope you'll keep on sharing. Yours is a gentle voice. We need gentle voices. :)

"Lucky Jake" said...

Agreed with Neal ^^ ... Gentle voices ARE needed. :)

Kiley said...

Like the others I don't know what the circumstances are surrounding the traffic and drama here, but I love reading your blog and I would hate to lose one of the few other ladies that blog in the MoHo sphere.

I go through phases where I feel overexposed and want to shut the blog down too. Rather then shutting down though there are other options. You could take the Facebook badge off to make sure the blog does not come up under a google search of your name. Or other things...

If you feel the need to stop I certainly understand, but I would miss you!

Anonymous said...

I'm an active member of the Church and a counselor with LDS family services. I'm straight but active in the Moho community because of the services I provide and because I want to provide those services with more compassion and insight. LDSFS has wronged many gays in the past and I hope to play a role in changing that. I have found your blog to be extremely kind and if people are unhappy with the way they are coming off, perhaps they need to reevaluate their own behavior and the words that leave their mouths. I live in North Carolina, we've never met, and I truly hope you keep blogging!

Sandra said...

I hope you don't stop blogging. There are not that many women who blog. Your story and thoughts have really helped me. Whatever you decide, I appreciate what you have written.