14 June 2011

"You're So..."

I feel the need to rant.  And this felt like the perfect place to do it.

I admit that I am a sensitive person.  I always have been.  And maybe this rant is a result of me being overly sensitive.  I've thought about it and tried to convince myself that it isn't a big deal, or at least, there's no point in making it a big deal because it won't do any good.  And I've told myself that I should let it go.  But I'm still bothered by it, which means that it isn't just something I need to let go and get over.

So I would just like everyone to know that I am not now, nor have I ever been stupid, lame, or not worth it.  I really try my best to not be unpleasant or to resemble something completely unfortunate.  And I am really sick and tired lately of social slang implying that I am anything less than a fortunate, happy, lovable human being.

Yes, I am referring to the ever popular and ever homophobic "that's so gay" statement.  Or anything like unto it.

I get that it happens.  I get that this small blog posting will not make waves and change this really ignorant behavior.  And I get that it makes you sound "cool" or "macho" or "in."  But it also makes you sound like an intolerant jerk in my opinion, ESPECIALLY when you call yourself my friend.  That makes it really difficult to brush it off and not take it personal.

I am somebody.  I didn't always think I was important or that my feelings mattered one bit compared to everyone else's.  But that has changed.  And the fact that this has me so upset could be considered a good sign as far as my opinion of myself goes.  It means that I care enough about myself to get offended and get upset, to say something and not let it walk all over me, to put something out there publicly that says I'm not okay with it.

That's right, I'm not okay with it.

I know that you have the right to have your opinions and to say what you want based on said opinions.  Freedom of speech.  But as much as the government wants to deny me, I have rights too.  I have the right to disagree with your opinion.  I have the right to state my own.  And I have the right to tell you to go to hell if you're not treating me the way I expect a friend would.

So take your "that's so gay" and your other thoughtless comments that I won't mention here (which have me more upset that your "that's so gay" affection), take your hypocrisy and your self-righteousness, and be gone.  I don't need you.  I am important, I am lovable, I matter for crying out loud, and I have good, honest friends who treat me that way.

---End Rant---


Anonymous said...

I had a friend in college who used to say this all the time. We hung out a lot, and I never said anything about it to her even though I didn't think it was right.

Then... one day I was in a drama class and I said it! I about died. I was so incredibly embarrassed that it came out of my mouth. I'm sure people in my class thought I was intolerant, rude, etc.

The problem was that I had been around it so much that it was just something that popped into my head and out of my mouth. I haven't said it since, and I still feel terrible about it.

Another word that is just as sensitive is "retarded." I think these words have just become part of our vocabulary, and most people don't even think about what they are saying.

So, just know that there might be a few of your friends/acquaintances that say it and just aren't thinking. The only way to get it to stop is to say something to them directly.

I've also learned that if I have a friend who says it, I will say something because I never want it to slip out of my mouth again.